I really am not a complainer. I try to be positive and optimistic about everything that comes my way in life. My experiences with being pregnant twice have been really good overall, but the crazy pregnant lady brain can’t help but make comparisons between the two. At almost 33 weeks pregnant, here is my list of 15 ways things have been different.
1. You, the pregnancy, and the new baby really aren’t the center of attention during pregnancy #2. Your baby takes the center stage, and you’re just the tech crew in the background trying to keep the whole thing from erupting into a chaotic shit show. Oh and your spouse- they’re just sitting in the audience with a bag of popcorn watching you do all the work.
2. Symptoms take longer to go away in 1st trimester. At least for me, with the first pregnancy I started feeling that “second trimester glory” around week 11 and this time I felt like death until week 14.
3. That round ligament pain starts way earlier and is so much worse…like I have to leave work early sometimes because the pain is so bad in my lower stomach and back. My students actually asked me one time if I was in labor because it took me 5 minutes to slowly shuffle from my desk to the board.
4. People don’t dote on you as much. I think this is because you’re in the mom role and are seen as a caregiver and not someone who needs to be taken care of. It’s not like people completely ignore the fact that you need extra help, but it’s definitely not the same. Maybe it’s just my hormonal craziness that is making me feel all sorts of pity for myself. I’m still waiting for the day when my husband tells me to book a spa day or take a hot bath and then read a book while he takes care of the other 47 things to do on my to-do list. I won’t hold my breath.
5. Bump pictures definitely did not happen. The only pictures of my bump are accidental ones that should be deleted. They also usually include other bumps forming on my body like the ones on my hips, outer thighs, and chin.
6. “Do something for yourself” is something you roll your eyes at because there is no you time anymore.
7. I didn’t even bother getting my huge pregnancy pillow out of storage. Co-sleeping with a restless, pillow-hogging one year old and my Leachco is just….nope. Not worth it.
8. I have no documentation of anything about how this pregnancy is going- no food cravings, no symptoms tracked, I don’t even know where the ultra sound pictures are. Oops.
9. The 3D ultrasound was an afterthought…something I booked because I thought that the new baby would probably question my lack of interest in this pregnancy when she’s older if I didn’t get one done.
10. I’ve hardly taken any naps during this pregnancy. My days are endless, between working full time and being a mom when I get home. It has been quite exhausting and I’m not sure how I’m even alive right now.
11. I am much more active with pregnancy #2, and not in a good way. With pregnancy #1 I made the call on when and how I’d be active whether it was going for a walk outside or hitting up a prenatal yoga class with all the other first timers. Now, being active is demanded from me by a one year old drill sergeant. “Mommy, stand up please”. “Mommy, uppie mommy”. “Mommy carry me”. “Mommy go up stairs”. “Mommy carry me down stairs”. This routine happens multiple times a day and never once includes “Mommy, take a break. You look tired”. Ugh one year olds. When will they ever learn.
12. Doctor appointments are such a hassle. During pregnancy #1, I always looked forward to them. I loved hearing the heart beat and checking in with my doctor. Now, they have to force me on the scale for the weigh ins and I think I may have fallen asleep on the exam table when they listened to the heart beat and measured my stomach.
13. You forget to nest. It just dawned on me that I have lots to do before this baby arrives. Maybe I should get Phoebe’s old newborn clothes out and wash them? Or buy some newborn-sized diapers? New pump parts, anyone?? All these things just occurred to me at week 32 of this journey. I had the nursery up and ready to go so much earlier on with baby #1.
14. The time flies by so fast, you don’t even have time to think about being pregnant. I’m lucky I had time to think of a name for this baby. Obviously, before you have any kids you have plenty of time to sit, think, wait, and talk about the baby. This time around there is definitely no sitting or thinking going on in my baby brain.
15. Cue the violins. I totally feel jipped out of being able to play the “I’m pregnant” card. The amount of responsibilities I have now compared to when I was pregnant with #1 are completely different. Not being able to take the backseat on everything and blame it on being pregnant is not an option, and I am 100% okay with admitting that it kinda sucks.
I’m sure by the time d-day rolls around I’ll have 20 more angry comparisons to add to this list. But for now, I think I’ll go pretend to take a nap.