The struggle is real, people. All the moms out there know how difficult parenting can be. There are so many decisions that need to be made about your child, your family, and your lifestyle. Every choice has a pro and a con, and every choice has an audience of nay-sayers and criticizers. We will never be perfect, but that’s okay because we are all trying our best. Our friends and family who do not have children are usually the quickest to give advice or judge our parenting choices. It can be incredibility frustrating to be under the microscope all the time by people who just don’t get it. I always remind myself that these people usually have the best intentions and their heart is in the right place. Take it with a grain of salt, smile, pretend to agree or understand what they’re saying, and move on. Here are some pieces of advice and parenting statements I would just love for non-kid having people to JUST STOP SAYING:
1.) Just get a babysitter! When I hear non-kid having people say this, I roll my eyes so far back in my head I can see the top of my skull. Just get a babysitter. Yeah, finding someone that you 110% trust with your babies, that is available, and doesn’t charge five million dollars for a Saturday night is not an easy task. There’s no magical babysitter fairy that comes to your house at night after the kids have fallen asleep to keep watch over the flock.
2.) Don’t give in to your kid’s picky eating. If you want them to eat vegetables, only give them vegetables and they’ll get so hungry that they’ll eventually eat them! Okay, my new life goal as a mom is to avoid meltdowns at all costs. Yes, I do have the pickiest of picky eaters known to mankind. Am I willing to starve my child so they’ll eat a frickin carrot? Nope. It’s so easy for other people to tell you to do that because they don’t have to deal with the hangry, tantrum-having child.
3.) Let the baby cry it out if you want a full night of sleep. This is another one of those “it’s easy for you to say because you don’t have to deal with it” type of statements. Non-kid having people act like it’s so easy to just let a baby cry it out. Maybe it is if you have no soul. Let’s not forget a baby crying it out at 2 am means you’re lying in bed awake, heart pounding, and the mom guilt is flowing through your veins. It’s one piece of non-kid having advice I’ve gotten frequently, and it makes me want to take a Sharpie and write the word “clueless” on the forehead of the advice-giver.
4.) Haven’t you heard about how bad it is to expose young children to electronics? Oh no, I haven’t heard about how much I’m damaging my child by letting her play with an iPad. I’m just a careless, uninformed parent. Duh. I know it’s not the best thing for a child to use electronics at a young age. Am I letting them spend their whole childhood on a tablet? No. Am I trying to have a meltdown-free dinner or shopping trip? Yes. Guess who benefits from my kid using her tablet at a restaurant? Me and you, because I get to have somewhat of an adult conversation with my husband, and you aren’t disrupted by her screaming “All done! Out of high chair now!!”.
5.) You need a date night! Well, thank you Captain Obvious. I am completely aware I look rundown and desperate for a night out. I know. Maybe I don’t want to go out though. A Saturday night at home with a pizza, movie, and glass of wine is perfectly fine with me. I don’t need to put my heels on and go out to the most pretentious bar in the city to feel like a human again. Plus, I can not afford to be hungover anymore. Parenting with a hangover is the evil work of the devil.
6.) If I was going to take a baby on an airplane, I would just give them Benadryl so they’d sleep through the whole flight. When I took a long summer vacation to Europe last summer, I had so many non-kid having people give me their “advice” about how drugging my baby to sleep would be the best, surest way to get through a 9 hour flight. Best for my baby, or best for you?? I would never give my child medication that was not completely necessary to have. Let’s not forget, Benadryl can have the opposite effect and make a baby very hyper instead of sleepy.
7.) I don’t understand why people bring their crying kid out in public. Let’s get one thing straight- I don’t know any mom out there who says, “My baby is super crabby today, so let’s tackle all of these errands.” No mom ever chooses to bring their fussy baby out in public. Here’s how it usually goes down: baby is happy, mom gets baby to store, baby loses it. Does this mean we should cancel the rest of our day and go home because we don’t want to disturb everyone else? No. I will try my best to calm my child down if she’s having a rough time, but I am not packing up the whole show and going home because of some crying. It took an insane amount of effort to get me, the baby, and the diaper bag put together, in the car, and out of the house.
I’m sure I’m forgetting like 100 more pieces of “advice” from non-kid having people. Please share what you would add to the list!
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